Indebted Bombardier sells off its politicians

Bombardier Inc announced today that it will be selling a portion of its MPs, MNAs, and local politicians to help cover its $9.3 billion debt.

“We have a large amount of infrastructure and stock in our political division,” said Bombardier Alain M. Bellemare. “It has been very profitable for us, but our endeavours of failing without consequences and increased competition in the subsidy industry has caught up with us.”

At least 50 elected officials have been acquired by French train maker Alstom where they will use Bombardier’s technology to develop cutting edge executive bonuses.