OTTAWA—The National Hockey League announced on Tuesday that the Ottawa Senators are formally changing their name to the Ottawa Dictators to mark Canada’s historic descent from being a democracy to being a dictatorship ruled by Trudeau.
“The People’s Republic of Canada must shed the last vestiges of culture that celebrated freedom,” said Supreme Emperor of the North Trudeau. “Ottawa’s beloved team will be renamed as a tribute to my magnificent greatness!”
At his words, an army of Royal Mounties shouted “HAIL TRUDEAU!” and performed the new Trudeau Salute.
In addition to the name change, the team will also adopt Justin Trudeau as their official mascot. The mascot costume will come in two varieties: standard and blackface.
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